She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
