i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
