Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
