she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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