I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
