Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
