youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
