in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
