I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
