Yo dont text me then not text me
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
either way he was missing a nipple.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
