nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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