and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
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They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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