Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize