all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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