I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
