I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
