When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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