the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
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