so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
