giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
