You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
