she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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