Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
