Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
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