I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
