I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
