you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
