im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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