omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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