I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
