I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
They are going to name an STD after you.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
