I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
