Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
