I like to think it a success when the cops are called
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
