i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
