she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
