There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
