Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I licked your asshole in confidence.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
