4 words: hood of his car
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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