Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize