Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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