dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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