You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
