Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
