I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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