return my video game
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
