she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
