she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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