I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize