im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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