I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
