Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize
