"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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