im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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