franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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