I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
