You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
