Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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