This is not my ceiling
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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