So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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