I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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