I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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