I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
